Coping, Fighting, Moving on
by bacardi92
Summary: set after 3x16. how does Peyton deal with the second Derek attack, will she be able to let Lucas in.
1. I Just Want To Feel Nothing

**AN/: This is my first story, so sorry if it is not up to scratch. **

**This story takes place after the second Derek attack, the attack has been changed a little bit, the change will be told in the second chapter. please review.**

Lucas looked down at his phone, the caller ID flashes 'Brooke' across the screen. He looks around the prom and realises that she isn't there and he hasn't seen her in a few hours.

"Hey B. Davis, skip out on prom now?" Lucas says into the phone.

"Oi, only I'm allowed to call her that." Peyton replied

"Pety! Where are you?"

"Long story, but me and Brooke are outside the school."

"You and Brooke? What's going on." Lucas is walking out of the prom towards the front of the school.

"Like I said, it's a long story, just meet us outside please."

"Yeah I'm on my way."

"Oh and promise me something. Don't freak out. Please."

"Why would I freak out?" Lucas is starting to panic, he is almost running through the halls, he can tell by Peyton's voice she has been crying.

"Just promise." Peyton sounds terrified. She hangs up the phone as she see's Lucas come out of the building. She clings tighter to Brooke, scared of Lucas' reaction.

When Lucas spots Brooke and Peyton he stops in his tracks. They are both covered in blood, Peyton has the a black eye starting to form and dry blood around her nose. They are clinging on to each other, and look terrified. Lucas runs up to them and pulls both of them into his arms. Peyton stiffens under his at first but then relaxes before Lucas has time to properly notice.

"What happened? Who did this?" The girls pull out of Lucas grip.

"Derek" Brooke whispers.

"Psycho, not brother." Peyton jokes, trying to lighten the mood. Lucas looks like he is about to go on murdering rampage, "His in custody, its alright."

"Alright, it's not alright. Look at you." Peyton pulls away from Lucas and holds onto Brooke tighter, Lucas is angry and it is scaring Peyton.

"Luke, calm down." Brooke says, "His in custody, well actually his in hospital, me and Peyton kicked his arse." Peyton laughs at Brookes attempt to calm down Lucas.

"See his gone, for good this time. It's ok"

"How? How did it happen, I was there."

"He was already there when you got there, I answered the door because I thought it was you and he punched me, I got knocked out. When I came to he was holding me against the door, you were knocking at the door. I tried to yell out I did, but he was so strong. I couldn't fight back, I tried. He drugged me, when I woke up I was down stairs. Brooke came looking for me, to make me come to prom and he tied her up. We ended up getting free and fighting him. And here we are."

"I should have tried harder to get in." Lucas is on the verge of tears, he was disgusted with himself, he couldn't bring himself to look at Peyton.

"Hey, look at me." Peyton said trying to pull Lucas' face to look at her, "Look at me. It's not your fault. Ok."

"Come on, I'm going to get you home."

"Actually, we kind of want to go to prom." Brooke said.

"Yeah I bet the real one will be a lot better than the one Derek tried to give me." Peyton laughed.

"How can you laugh about it Peyt."

"I guess it hasn't sank in yet."

"Come on guys, lets get in there." Brooke said. Lucas faked a laugh at Brookes enthusiasm. He did not understand why the girls seemed to be so ok with what had happened. He could tell they were shaken up but let it go, since it was there prom night, and they wanted to go to it. When they got in there everyone was looking at them, but no one said anything, it probably had something to do with the murderous look Lucas was wearing. Lucas found them a table at the back of the room and left them to get drinks. Brooke had told him if he returned with drinks that weren't spiked she would kick his arse as well.

"P. Sawyer, when are you going to tell him what happened."

"I don't know."

"You have to tell him."

"No I don't. It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does. His your boyfriend, his Lucas, he needs to know. And you need to tell him. He can't save you if he doesn't know."

"I know, but look how angry he is know. How is he going to handle it?" Payton looks guilty, she is on the verge of tears.

"Hey, you don't have to worry about Lucas. His tough. And its not your fault." Peyton on nods and mouths 'I know' to Brooke as Lucas returns to the girls.

"Here, I promise, there more vodka then punch in them." The girls laugh and down there drinks in one mouthful.

"Top up?" Peyton asks Luke laughing.

"Sure." Luke has a feeling that they will be drinking all night. He would normal say something but after the night they had had, he bite his tongue and said nothing.

"Bring extra's" Brooke called after Lucas.

* * *

Later that night, Brooke, Payton were both a Lucas', neither of them wanted to be alone. Both girls were a little bit drunk and had insisted on stoping a Rachael's to get a bottle of vodka. They were now doing shots on Lucas' bed.

"Ha, I just realised, we have nothing to wear Payton." Brooke laughed.

"You have nothing to wear, I'm pretty sure I have clothes here somewhere." Peyton said looking at Lucas.

"Of course you do." Brooke muttered, looking hurt, before laughing. "Got anything I could wear, I really want out of this dress."

"Sure, I want a shower too." Lucas was getting out two set's of Peyton's pj's she had left there.

"Same." The girls grabbed the clothes of Lucas and headed to the bathroom.

"You have shampoo here to." Brooke said raising an eyebrow.

"We haven't slept together yet Brooke." Brooke laughed, shaking her head.

"Sure."

"Seriously, we haven't."

"I believe you. If you had, you wouldn't have pj's here would you?" Brooke said laughing, making Peyton laugh. Peyton nodded and took a large mouthful of the vodka. "Seriously girl, you can hardly stand as it is."

"It's prom." Peyton shrugs. Taking another mouthful and passing the bottle to Brooke. Brooke takes the bottle, laughing again before taking a drink and turning the shower on.

Twenty minutes later the girls returned to the bedroom stumbling and laughing, now clean they both looked like two girls on prom night, just with black eyes.

"Did you's shower together?" Lucas asks.

"Well I'm having trouble standing so I needed some help" Peyton replies.

"Maybe you should stop drinking."

"It's prom." Peyton replies again.

"Peyt." Lucas says walking closer to Peyton, reaching out to take the bottle off her.

"Lucas." Peyton says, stepping away and jumping onto the bed next to bed.

"Yeah Lucas it's prom night, and we have to go extra hard to make up for earlier." Brooke said.

"Yeah it's been a good prom night, I'm drunk, I danced with my guy, got a black eye, showered with a girl."

"You haven't kissed a girl." Brooke pointed out.

"True, where's Rachel?" Peyton asked.

"Oi, what, I'm not good enough for in you?" Brooke said, faking to be hurt.

"No it's not that, but I don't think that Lucas want to watch his girlfriend kiss his ex, on his bed." Peyton laughs, looking at Lucas who had joined them on the bed. He just laughed and raised an eyebrow and Peyton. "But then again, maybe he would." Before Lucas could respond Peyton leant over and pecked Brooke on the lips. "There." She said laughing, "what's next on the classic 'prom night' list."

"I don't know, but maybe we should go to bed its late." Lucas said, trying to calm the girls down, he didn't like the way there were acting about what had happened, and he had a feeling something had happened that they weren't telling him.

"Aww, its not late. There's still vodka left." Brooke said pointing to the bottle. Peyton grabbed it and took a big drink.

"Come on Peyt. Stop drinking." Lucas said.

"Why? It's.." Lucas cut her off.

"Don't say it's prom night. This isn't you, drinking so much. It isn't healthy, you need to deal with what happened."

"Maybe I don't want to deal tonight, maybe I just want to be numb." Peyton said, almost yelling. She was on the verge of tears, she didn't want to tell him what happened, she knew it would kill him, it was killing her. She just wanted to be numb for one night. Peyton jumped off the bed and walked outside. Lucas went to follow her.

"Luke" Brooke said " just go easy on her, let it go for tonight, you weren't there."

"I want her to let me in." Lucas' voice broke, he was close to tears seeing Peyton this way.

"And she will, she just needs to deal with her way tonight." Brooke said looking away from Lucas, "we both have to."

"Ok." Lucas said walking outside looking for Peyton. He found her sitting on the porch swing crying.

"Hey Blondie." Lucas say's sitting next to her. He goes to pull her into his arms but she moves away. "What's wrong."

"Nothing. I'm fine." Peyton said wiping her eyes.

"No you're not." Lucas said.

"If you're here to yell at me then just don't."

"I'm not going to. I just want you to let me in. I want to help you." Peyton looks at Lucas, she has never seen him look so broken.

"I will, just not tonight, please. I want to forget about it for tonight."

"Ok." Lucas sighed.

Peyton walked back inside, Lucas sat outside and could hear the girls laughing. Lucas felt sick, he couldn't believe that they were acting like nothing happened. At least they were getting along now, he was glad that if she wasn't going to talk about it at least she had Brooke to help her, even though he didn't approve of her method of dealing.


	2. Fears

Later that night, Lucas laid in bed, Peyton and Brooke were both asleep. Payton was cuddling up to Brooke, Lucas was a little bit hurt that she didn't want him to hold her. She didn't let him kiss her all night, and every time he touched her she pulled away. He knew something had happened that they were telling him, and he was too scared to think about what it could be, he refused to let it be that. Even in her sleep Peyton looked scared, like the tiniest noise would break her. Brooke was holding on to Peyton so tight, as if, if she let go something was going to happen to her.

Lucas felt as if it was his fault, he should have tried harder to get into Peyton's house, he should have know something wasn't right. Peyton wouldn't have missed her prom, even if she was fighting with Brooke, she would have wanted to see her handy work on Brooke's dress. He should have known soon. He is meant to be the one to save her, and he couldn't. He should have made sure the Derek was locked up, he should have checked.

She looked broken, for the first time that night her saw her looking scared and vulnerable. He knew she had been acting strong, trying to convince him that she was ok, he knew she didn't want him to worry about her, it was in her nature, but he hadn't realise who broken she was into she fell asleep. He had always been able to tell how she felt in her sleep; her face could tell him everything, as long as she had her guard down, which often only happen when she was asleep. It had been hard for her to let him, and Lucas was worried that she was going to put her walls back up after tonight.

Unable to sleep, Lucas climbs out of bed. On his way to the kitchen he spots Peyton's dress in the bathroom, covered in blood, his heart breaks all over again, he never got to see her in it, at least before the attack. Even covered in blood she still looked beautiful. He picks in up and starts to try and wash the blood off, she loved the dress, she had mention before the sex tape that she couldn't wait for him to see her in it. He noticed as he was cleaning it a rip in the skirt of the dress that went up to the waist of the dress, his heart dropped. He did not know how he hadn't noticed it before. He had just assumed it was part of the dress, but here in his hand it was clear what it was, confirming is fears.

He wanted to go wake her up, and ask her if what he was thinking is right, he wanted to hold her and make it all ok. But he knew waking her up would only mean she would have to relive it, part of him hope that for her sake could sleep forever so she never had to think about it again. He realised now why she had drunk so much, she wanted to forget, and she wanted to pass out so she wouldn't have nightmares.

In the bedroom, Peyton woke up and rolled over to find Lucas, the drinking hadn't helped like she had hoped, she still had nightmares. She realised Lucas wasn't in the bed next to her, she sat up an turned on the light, only her and Brooke where in the room. The bedroom door was open, and she could see light in the hallway. She carefully climbed out of the bed, and walked to the door way. She froze in the doorway. The house was dark apart from the bathroom. She knew Luke was in there, and she needed him, but she was too scared to walk down the dark hall.

"Luke" She whispered, trying not to wake Brooke. "Luke." She heard a quite sob come from the bathroom, she knew he had found her dress. She somehow found the strength to walk down the hall knowing Luke needed her. She got halfway before she started to run the last few steps. When she stepped into the bathroom she saw Luke standing over the bathroom sink, holding her dress under the water.

"Luke." She whispered. He turned around, his eyes were blood shot, tears stained his face. "You weren't in the bed."

"I can't get it clean." Luke whispered.

"It's alright." Peyton replied walking towards him wrapping her arms around him. "It's all right." Luke pulled her in tight.

"Your dress is ripped." Luke's voice broke as he whispered, scared to have his fears confirmed. "Did he?" Luke couldn't finish his question, the words were stuck in his throat.

Peyton didn't answer him, she just tighten her grip around him, holding onto everything she had. She was afraid to answer him, she was worried that he wouldn't be able to look at her once he knew the truth, she felt dirty and she knew that once he found out he would see he the way she is, dirty. She needed him to get through this.

"Peyt?"

"It's going to be alright." She whispered to herself. Brooke was right, she had to tell him. She took a deep breath before she continued. "Brooke came in and pulled him off me," Peyton paused trying to find the strength to continue, "But she was too late." Luke felt his heart hit the ground, Peyton was crying uncontrollably in his arms. He let his legs give way underneath them and they fell to the ground.

"It's alright Peyt. It's going to be alright." They stayed on the ground of the bathroom like that the rest of the night. Peyton crying in Lucas' arms, Luke holding back his tears for Peyton so that she knew he was strong enough to get her through this.

The next morning Brooke found them laying like that on the bathroom floor, Peyton's dress sitting in the sink, she lent over them picking up the dress. Lucas stirred as Brooke turned to leave the room.

"Hey Brooke" He whispered. Brooke paused and turned back, "Thank you." Brooke knew exactly what he was talking about. She just nodded.

"You just look after her." Brooke said before leaving.

Lucas gently shifted Peyton before picking her up and carrying her into his bed. She woke as he laid her down.

"Shh. Go back to sleep." Lucas said, hoping that she would. However he knew she wouldn't it had taken hours of crying for her to fall asleep in the first place.

"No, sleep bad." She mumbled cuddling into Lucas.

"So how you feeling this morning?" Lucas cautiously asked.

"Hangover, and sore. Everything that can hurt, is." Peyton replied with a small laugh.

"How about I get you some breakfast?" Lucas asked, Peyton stiffened and pulled herself closer into Lucas.

"Don't leave me."

"I won't, come on." He replies helping her up out of bed. Climbing out of bed Peyton noticed the bruises that were coming out on her upper thighs and arms. She tried to cover herself up with the blanks so Lucas wouldn't see them. "Hey, it's alright." Lucas said while stopping her, "It's ok Peyt, its only me." Peyton looked up at Lucas and looked him in the eyes for the first time since the attack. Her eyes were full of pain, she was surprised to see not only pain in Lucas' eyes, but love as well. She was positive that he wouldn't be able to look at her after he found out.

"You shouldn't have to see me like this" Peyton whispered looking away from Lucas again. Lucas put his around Peyton shoulder.

"It's going to be ok Peyt."

"I know. So what's for breakfast?" Peyton's mood suddenly changed and Lucas knew she was trying to be strong for him. He wished she wouldn't but he let it go, he knew if he pushed her she would shut down.

As the day progressed Peyton refused to talk about the attack, but she also refused to leave Lucas' side. They spent most of the day on his bed watching movies. Lucas quickly realised not to initiate any contact between them because she would freeze up, she would cuddle into him whenever she needed to. About four o'clock she insisted on calling Brooke and having her come back to Lucas', Brooke agreed quickly admitting she didn't want to be alone. Lucas had called Nathan and got him to bring clothes around for Brooke and Peyton, (Brooke had spent the day with Nathan and Haley, to scared to go home alone).

Later that night, Luke was helping his mum cook dinner, she was fine with the girls staying there, knowing nothing would happen with all three in the bed.

"How's Peyton?" Karen asked Lucas.

"Not good. She acts like she's fine, but then all of a sudden she's back inside her shell."

"She'll be ok, she's been through a lot." Karen reassured her son.

"I don't know Ma. There's something you don't know." Lucas paused looking towards his bedroom, "He.. He raped her mum." Lucas started to cry, Karen hugged her wishing she could make everything better for them.

"She's strong Luke, She'll be ok."

"I don't know. I can't see her getting over this."

"She'll get there, she has you. You just have to be there for her."

"I know, I just don't know what she needs. I'm trying to be strong for her, not let her know how much it's killing me."

"You need to talk to her, let her know you still love her." Lucas looks at his mum confused.

'"Why?"

"She's probably worried that you won't look at her the same anymore." Lucas just shook his head. "And you need to tell how your feeling. She needs to know that your there for her no matter what."

"That's why I don't want to tell her, she doesn't need to know how I'm feeling, it doesn't matter. She needs me to be strong for her."

"Maybe, or maybe she needs to know that you're hurting to, that she isn't alone in the way she's feeling. You need to rest assure her fears, and maybe the only way to do that is to tell her how you feel."

"I just can't believe it, it's not fair, she's been through so much, she doesn't deserve it." Lucas shakes his head trying to stop tears. "I should have gotten there earlier, five minutes earlier and this wouldn't have happened, I would have been able to stop it. I should have tried to get into her house."

"It's not your fault Luke, you couldn't have stopped it." Karen's heart was breaking for her son, she wanted to find the words to make it all ok for him, but she can't even make sense of it for herself.

Later that night, Peyton took a shower with Brooke again, she was scared to be alone. She still hadn't talk properly with Lucas, and he was worried that if she bottled it up it would destroy her emotionally, but he didn't want to push her. Brooke could tell that they needed space to talk, she had been pushing Peyton all afternoon, so Brooke excused herself to watch TV in the lounge room with Karen. Lucas and Payton were laying on his bed staring at the ceiling. Peyton was wearing a tracksuit even though it was a hot night.

"Peyt, aren't you hot."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. You're sweating." Peyton shock her head. "Peyton, why are you wearing a tracksuit?"

"Because." Lucas said nothing waiting for Peyton to explain, Peyton sighed when she realised that he wasn't going to let it go. "Because I don't want to see the bruises, I don't want anyone to see them."

"It's ok Peyton. You don't have to hide."

"They are just a reminder, like I need one."

"I'm sorry Peyton," Lucas said.

"For what?" Peyton asked, confused.

"I should have gotten there sooner, you needed me and I wasn't there. You say I'm always saving you, and I didn't." Peyton rolled over to look at Lucas, tears were pooling in his eyes, threatening to fall out.

"It's not your fault, and you do get to save me. Now. I need you more than ever, I'm so scared Luke, but I'm more scared that I'm going to lose you." Peyton didn't know where that confession came from, and was scared for Lucas' response.

"You are never going to lose me." Lucas said with such conviction that Peyton knew he meant, this gave her the strength to continue.

"You might not have gotten to me, but you were what got me through it, the whole time, I just kept telling myself that if I got out of there then I would get to see you, and lay in your arms and everything would be ok. It's what gave me the strength to fight back. If it wasn't for you, I probably would have given up." Lucas didn't know what to say, he just held Peyton.

"It's going to be ok."

"How?" Peyton whispers. "How can it be ok."

"I'll make it ok. You're strong Peyt, you can make it through this, you don't have to do it alone."

"Thank-you."

"For what?" Lucas asks.

"Saving me." Peyton replies, leaning up and quickly kissing Lucas on the lips. "You're always saving me."

"You said you scared, what are you scared of?" Lucas asked, hoping that she hadn't closed herself off yet.

"Everything, noises, the dark, shadows, touches" Lucas pulls away from Peyton. "No it's ok." Peyton says pulling herself in closer to him. "I feel safe in your arms." Luke was glad that she hadn't shut him out, but he knew with Peyton that it was often one step forward two steps back. He had no idea how she would be tomorrow, he could only hope she wouldn't go backwards.


End file.
